After working 2 years in two different elementary schools I’ve had my ups and had my downs. Luckily it has been more ups than downs creating memorable stories to last me a life time. Here are some funny (or insane..I’ll leave that up to you) dos and donts collected from my experiences:

1. Summer fever starts after the winter holidays– You all know this is true…

2. Stickers will get you a lot- I have a stash of about a thousand sitting in my desk. Need your room cleaned during recess? BRIBE THEM WITH STICKERS! Need materials made for a new class activity and the rest of the class is watching a video? BRIBE THEM WITH STICKERS!  Stickers are like the children’s new fashion accessory the more bright and colorful stickers they can stick on themselves, the cooler they look.

3. Giving your students sugar is a bad idea- Lethal in large doses, sugar can cause children to gain super powers. Able to leap a hopscotch grid in a single bound, faster than a speeding hot wheels.. sugar is a powerful weapon.

4. Food in the teachers room will magically vanish in seconds- One time, I brought in a tray of fresh baked cinnamon rolls..went to the restroom..came back out and my rolls had magically vanished! It’s magical food trickery I tell you!!

5.Marching around the playground playing bagpipes will get you a lot of attention- You’ll also be labeled as a crazed maniac who wears a kilt whenever the time seems awkward enough. Any non sensical activity that can seem crazy, awkward, or just down right funny will get you a lot of attention. Some good, some bad, but if you’re a person who practices the phrase “I don’t care what other people think” your non sensical activities turn into a darn good time.

6.If you don’t leave your room, cabin fever sets in- Talking to yourself, wanting to run down the hall yelling, dancing at random times of the day? YOU’VE GOT THE FEVER! Not to worry though this fever is solved with a little social interaction! But of course, a little craziness never hurt. Putting on a fruit hat and doing the cha cha while singing cabin fever is never a bad site to see! Make sure all video cameras are destroyed first..

7.If they ask to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes- They either are not admitting to an issue that they should see the nurse for..OORRR you’ve got a skipper! What they don’t realize though is that the test they just skipped out on will be waiting for them when they get back and the rest of their class is at recess. Hehehe.

8.DON’T GET DOWN LOW- So a song is playing, you are dancing right along with your students having fun and getting their craziness out. All of a sudden the music tells you to get down low on the floor. You do so and..CRACK! something in that body of yours makes a noise and you can’t move. Your kids laugh at first as you lay helpless like a turtle on the floor but then all rush to your side as you laugh in pain unable to roll over and slide yourself into your chair until they give you breathing room. It doesn’t matter how old or how young, you can’t bend like a 4th grader anymore! From personal experience, to avoid the turtle pose and ice packs in places you don’t want later STAY STANDING.

9.Trying to use the teachers room bathroom- I wish you good luck…Sometimes the only adult bathroom around in a lot of buildings this sacred bathroom is one to be revered if gained access to. Usually busy most of the day with constant traffic this bathroom filled with magazines, fresh and good smelling scents, and uniquely scented soaps can be a highlight of any teachers day. C’mon on, there is only so much use of the tiny toilets or bathroom stalls you can take!

10.Purchase a lot of colorful duct tape- You will use this magical fix it material found at our local office or craft supply store whether it’s to quickly fix a broken instrument, decorate a piece of office equipment, or to tape your rug to the floor so your students stop picking it up during class!! It serves not only as a great last minute fix it tool but also a great way to occupy the younger children in your classes with the purdy shiny colorful swirly thingys…*stares at pile of tape*